Cloister Commentary, Day 339: The Show

Yesterday was my 59th birthday. The main observation I have to make is that time gushes on, and you need to make the most of your days and oppose forces that strive to turn others’ days into misery. It’s not a rehearsal; it is the show.

We started the day with some meditation, I dug in again to Ibram X. Kendo’s How to Be an Anti-Racist and finished it. I highly recommend it; it’s delivered revelation after revelation to me, and I’d previously thought I knew something. Nicole made some delicious turkey, mushroom, and pepper cheese melts that were so good we had them for lunch and dinner. We also liberated our back-deck duo Beebs and Gold from the garage, where we’d created a shelter for them against the frigidity that’s finally lifted.

Speaking of getting back into the sunshine, the best thing we did was get out of the house and onto the Stephens Lake Park trail. The weather was beautiful and fresh air like a drug. February has seemed like a month in captivity.

Sheepish admission I may have subconsciously left out of my last few commentaries: As much complaint as I’ve made about not being able to get vaccinated against COVID, I had a chance Friday to get a shot in Versailles, and accidentally closed the scheduling browser trying to look at a map, which recorded me as having passed on the opportunity. Then Sunday I received two separate invitations to get vaccinated in Boonville, but I was having so much fun in my birthday Zoom I didn’t look at my phone for five hours, and by the time I did, the slots had been filled. So I’m gonna be quiet about it for awhile!

Streaming for Strivers:

Ahhhh, celebrations…

Cloister Commentary, Day 338: Zoom Birthday Party

I’m hard to surprise. The multiple early birthday wishes should have been a hint; I assumed it was a social media glitch. But yesterday–the day before my birthday–Nicole set up an open Zoom from noon to five for my friends to pop in and say howdy. I had no idea what she was up to, but it was perfect, because, as I mentioned yesterday, a TV scene had really made me miss the (live) feeling of being in the midst of a bunch of interesting, funny, lively humans. I “saw” a great cyberfriend for the first time; I enjoyed a mini-reunion with two fond high school friends; I received a birthday serenade from Jacqueline Kelly; I convened with counselors and principals (one of the latter interviewed the other back in the day, didn’t hire him, but I guess he showed her (😂)–they were in the Zoom at the same time, so that was a wonderfully but gracefully humorous moment!); I hung out with my brother, aunt, and uncle; the first people to arrive were a wonderful couple of old marrieds who we’d be pestering every week if they lived here in Columbia; a fellow teacher and I reminisced about our very different teacher training activities; my most rock-and-rollin’ former student got to meet my most rock-and-rollin’ best buddy. I could go on–it was definitely one of my favorite birthday presents of all-time, and I recommend it! (We didn’t get Ken and Charles in the same room–they get the magic of birthdays, believe me–but there’s always next year.

We had so much fun were almost too tired to eat dinner! I usually mentally lash myself if I don’t read or listen to a record or two each day, but I was too pleasantly drained to even skim the paper, so “Men in Kilts,” SNL, and “All Creatures Great and Small” had to do. Especially “Men in Kilts”….

Streaming for Strivers:

…it’s my birthday, too (continued from yesterday). Into the morning.

Cloister Commentary, Day 336: Restlessness

Early in the morning, I learned that a former student of mine had been killed, and another former student of mine was allegedly involved. Not a happy start. Teaching the former when she was 12 and the latter when he was 15, I had excellent experiences with both. I last saw the victim early last year when our paths crossed at Gerbes; as usual, she was full of enthusiasm and kindness. My heart is with her family and friends. The loss is a shocking one.

I was so restless for a project and a distraction that I engaged in something really pointless: I emptied my 16g iPod Nano (we have three MP3 players, and they are each meticulously programmed with a completely different set of folders of music–madness, I know), then refilled it with all the “miscellaneous” folders of single tracks I’ve created in each genre folder on my external drive. On top of those, I dragged in some of my favorite various artist comps. I did not create any folders; my intention was to create a random jukebox of favorite but not necessarily famous songs. As soon as I was finished, I was immediately unsatisfied. Back to tinkering today. I didn’t even try it out.

When Nicole got home from school, we made up for our postponed Valentine’s Day with a Shakespeare’s pizza, some homemade vanilla ice milk, and both a new and an old movie: Nomadland and Thelma and Louise. Two terrific road movies–we didn’t plan that–that are seemingly quite different but with strong similarities at their hearts.

Streaming for Survivors:

Why hadn’t I heard of this until this morning?

Cloister Commentary, Day 335: COVID Snow Day

Nicole had a snow day. In a COVID mode, they ain’t quite the same, but I enjoyed having her home, and? She did excellent work anyway! Like 98.6% of the teachers I’ve known, she really cares about her students, and that feeling doesn’t just turn off when she has a day off. On a pretty consistent basis, she makes me wish I was still in the game full-time! Then I remember how I loved grading 125 essays at a time….

I spent much of the day immersed in great writing about rap and race. Because Nicole was indeed working, I couldn’t really bring the jams, but I have De La, Stetsa, and Digable Planets in the changer for today. And some folks known as Spillage Village.

Kurbside Kudos to Barred Owl Butcher for their stellar service and their medianoche sandwich, pimiento smashburger, and sour dough bread pudding! We celebrate each other’s birthday for at least a whole week, so it clearly has begun.

Also, thanks to my cousin Jenifer and our pal Isaac for directing us to the Lost & Found Grief Center.

Streaming for Strivers:

So long, Prince Markie Dee.

Cloister Commentary, Day 334: 4WD

I had never before piloted a four-wheel drive vehicle, but, due to the additional snow and our need to get one of our cats her feline leukemia booster shots, I locked in the Chevy Silverado I inherited from my dad and had a smooth trip to and from the vet on pretty nasty roads. I thought it was going to be complicated but it was easier than shifting gears. I’m not a car guy. Even less a truck guy, though I’ve driven one for over a quarter century.

After the urology lab kind of forgot about the results of my month-ago prostate biopsy, I finally got the results: negative. Cool! I asked why my PSA levels were so high, then. “We don’t know.” Oh. Follow-up in August.

Started up a Facebook fundraiser to benefit the Equal Justice Initiative for my birthday. EJI is primarily dedicated to providing high-quality legal representation to individuals unjustly incarcerated or otherwise unfairly trapped in the legal system–plus the memorial the organization has established in Montgomery, Alabama, to recognize the victims of the thousands of lynchings that have been perpetrated on this land is powerful.

Dinner was Parmesan portabellos, fresh spinach, and baked potatoes. We finally finished the gargantuan batch of cookies Nicole made–just in time for the Girl Scout cookies we bought from our wonderful lil’ neighbor.

My former student from eons ago, Alex Pulley, tagged me in a post: when I taught him and his gang of dudes as Parkview ninth graders, I frequently made them mixtapes. Alex, now middle-agéd, just discovered The Minutemen (accurately referred to by my friend Mike Rayhill as “The Minutestuds”) and couldn’t understand why I’d not hipped them back in the ’80s. I responded with several comments and replies in rat-a-tat fashion without waiting for responses. Once your teacher, always your teacher, dude….

Streaming for Strivers:

Owed T’Alex (that allusion’s a nudge in another musical direction)….

Cloister Commentary, Day 333: Clear and Partially Covered

We’d been snowed in away from home for four days, visiting Mom and helping her out, and it was time to make a move. Our cats were likely close to be running out of food (we hadn’t planned on being gone quite that long), I’m never sure about the plumbing in this house, and Nicole and I each had some urgent business to deal with in Columbia. Trouble was, as we sank into sleep Monday night, the entire 220-some miles of highway we’d have to travel was, according to MODOT, covered or partially covered with snow, and the temps were hitting their lowest–and that was low.

Between my dreams of talking to (then fleeing) a school shooter and visiting with Rebecca Wimer-Pisano and her husband Frank in their nomadic pop-up trailer about what movie we were going to go see (and never deciding), I dreamed we slid off I-44 into a snow drift in the median and kept slowly sliding toward the oncoming lane. I only had t-shirt, socks, and slippers on, but all I could think about was…cats. Seriously, we’d had a couple of vehicular adventures on ice and snow we did not want to repeat–and those were on torrid 20-degree days. My stomach was churning as we backed out of Mom’s drive way.

Most of the 220-some miles were clear; maybe a third were partially covered, with at least one lane going our way clear. We poured a gallon of Mardi Gras music into our ears as accelerant for our relief. The cats and pipes were fine, though they’d rearranged all of our area rags and redecorated with some well-placed hairballs. Also, Chad Ferguson, the son of our good friends Denise and Dennis, sent me his band’s new vinyl record for my (upcoming) birthday, which was leaning against the front door when we hit the top of our steps.

It’s hard being separated from family by many miles in these times, especially when they’re hurting. Thanks again, and always, to the chosen wing of our family structure: the Carlin, Dickens, and Garrett families (plus Jeanne, Kathy, and Jerry). And to a biological wing that’s closer geographically than we are, the Hague and Insley families. Completely without hyperbole, we could not be doing this without you.

Streaming for Strivers:

Also leaning against my front door when we returned, a vinyl copy of this great documentary project from the 1970s, recorded by Bloods author Wallace Terry. Black oral history.

Cloister Commentary, Day 332: Lundi Gras Workout

Ahhhh, intense, sustained physical activity! I’d truly missed it. Despite the possibility that I would feel crippled in the aftermath from 99% muscular atrophy, I shoveled a long, two-car driveway, accompanying sidewalk, and a bit of curb yesterday. And survived! I’m not even that sore as I thumb this out. One of three highlights of the day.

Second highlight: Nicole, Mom and I got caught up with David Letterman’s Netflix interview show by checking out his powerful conversations with Dave Chappelle (that dude is inspiringly thoughtful and eloquent offstage!) and Ellen DeGeneres (her journey’s been even more inspiring than I knew). We also dug DeGeneres’ recent Netflix special.

Third highlight: my good friend from NOLA, Clifford Ocheltree, called me on the phone–on the phone!!!–to wish me a happy birthday (it’s still pretty early, but also still welcome). He brought me up to speed on his mayor’s struggles with Mardi Gras and COVID, his continued genealogical deep-dive, which connects to Columbia, and the fascinating historical humans John Hay and Claude King. He packed all that in to about 30 minutes.

Streaming for Strivers:

It’s Mardi Gras–do what you wanna, to a point?

Cloister Commentary, Day 331: Valentine’s Day Cold Massa-cree

We didn’t really need another challenge, but we received one. The frigid temperatures plus a mess of snow just made my nerves twist and tighten, as we will be needing to be on the road soon, so I had to fight to just let it go. Can’t control it; gotta accept it. How many times have I said that to myself over the last 11 months?

Valentine’s Day, in spite of the winter blast, was nice. My mom is still struggling post-severe-UTI–but she’s inching her way back to health. Nicole made a terrific chicken stew for lunch (a perfect combatant against the weather), and I whipped up bacon and eggs (scrambled in the grease) and English muffins for dinner. We all read a bit in the afternoon, and enjoyed our usual PBS Sunday Night via an episode a piece of The Durrells and All Creatures. I’ve never read the latter’s source book by James Herriot, but–call me a sentimental old fluff–I think I’m going to have to. I’d hoped to catch the Lakers-Nuggets game but the wind had died behind my sails. Bottom line: I was locked in with my two favorite ladies on February 14th, and that was just right.

But…in a different reality…this morning it would have been nice to wake up in The City That Care Forgot. Happy Lundi Gras.

Streaming for Strivers:

I’m sending this, the first commercial recording to feature Mardi Gras Indian chants, out to Marsha and Tom. Bon ton roulez, y’all–two more days til ya gotta clamp down!

Cloister Commentary, Day 330: Light Entertainment

Our normal Valentine’s Day is an “Overeem Special” from Shakespeare’s (red onions, mushrooms, pepperoni, pepper cheese, and green olives) and a good movie. That isn’t going to happen this year; we are eating healthier, for one, and we’re out of pocket, for another. But Nicole and I will be together with my mom, chicken stew is on the menu, and I believe they are going to treat me to an episode of “Men in Kilts”….

Yesterday, we spent a day inside because we are sane. I made grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone, we ate a thousand of Nicole’s homemade cookies, Mizzou dropped one at home to The Nouveau Border War Adversary, and we took in the first episode of “Clarice” (not horrible, other than the subject matter) and Promising Young Woman (it definitely sticks with one, and I never thought I’d see Carey Mulligan pull that kind of role off). As you can see, we enjoy light entertainment on our family Saturday nights.

Streaming for Strivers:

Smokey: a Valentine’s Day secular kind of muezzin. I just stumbled upon this “stripped” collection; I don’t know if it was a true release, but let’s not quibble.

Cloister Commentary, Day 329: The Drive

Nicole and I were on a drive last night, and started to reflect on this trying journey. In 36 days, this commentary will have stretched to a full year. We speculated on how difficult it is to tell how permanently the isolation will affect us, and just how those effects will manifest after we reach a clearing. The only relatively large gathering of people in which we’ve been in the midst since March 13 was my dad’s funeral service in June; that was ill-advised, but his passing was so sudden and unexpected I felt I was in some other existence (at least everyone was masked, and no one seemed to have gotten sick as a result). I haven’t spoken to a student in person since February, or even held a class since July. Nicole spoke of the relaxing experience of just gliding into a restaurant, ordering some good food, and taking our time, and of the fun of planning a trip in excited detail, then living it out, with old friends along for the ride or at the end of the road. And just being able to celebrate occasions, life, relationships. We miss that stuff in our bones.

We fell silent, and punched up “Night in Tunisia,” “Queer Notions,” that double-standard-hit-double-whammy “Runaround Sue” / “The Wanderer,” the Stones’ “Happy,” “Looking for a Kiss,” a Patti Smith “block party,” then closed the drive down with one of our all-time favorite albums (Nicole kept turning it up, and up), Dramarama’s Hi-Fi Sci-Fi. I believe we’re gonna make it (with a little luck, Joe Tex, you may be right).

Additional pulses of joy: my mom’s feeling much better after a severe UTI (her chosen family tended to her in our absence, thank the stars), and the other student teacher I’m supervising (I reported on the first in yesterday’s commentary) was hired to teach English at my old place of business, David H. Hickman High School, the Home of the Kewpies!

Accompanying foreboding: more extremely frigid temps–and possible snowfall. Our outdoor cats are now housed in the garage.

Streaming for Strivers:

A great drummer has passed. He left the world more interesting than he found it.